It is calculated that over 32 million people are fulfilling the role of unpaid caregiver to a loved one. As parents age, and indeed people are living longer than ever before, and couples put off having children, many people are also ending up as “Tweens,” performing a caregiving role for both an older parent or parents, and for toddlers or dependent children/teenagers as well.
Caregiving can be emotionally demanding at the best of times. It can also be extremely demanding financially as well. If a severe mental or physical disability is part of th equation, it can make an already difficult situation one of extreme hardship for the caregiver.
As people live longer than ever before, they and their children will have to make some difficult decisions about caregiving. With at least 5% of the older population now falling prey to Alzheimer’s disease and other dementing illnesses, it is best to discuss what provisions should be made to deal with this, rather than just wait until things get so bad that everyone ends up in turmoil.
Providing constant care for a person with dementia or other disabilities can be physically, emotionally, and financially taxing, and caregivers frequently become overwhelmed by their situation before they even realize what has happened.
It is emotionally stressful to have to switch roles, from cared-for child or spouse, to caregiver of a mother or father, husband or wife. Dealing with a seemingly logical adult who suddenly becomes emotional or illogical is a hard transition for many adult childen, who have come to expect that their parents will always be ‘reasonable.’
If the couple is older and the husband or wife suddenly starts to show signs of illness, this can be a real shock and trigger depression and even grief. Loss of romantic and intimate partnership between married couples can often be very distressing to the loved one who is ‘left behind’ as their loved one vanishes into Alzheimer’s-induced mental states, which can range from pleasantly docile to aggressive and combative, especially in the evenings (commonly referred to as ‘sundowning’).
Overly stressed caregivers may not attend to their own well-being, which puts them at much greater risk for illness, alcohol or drug abuse, depression, anxiety, and even death.
This very stressed state of affairs is often referred to as caregiver burnout.
Loneliness and isolation and the sense of never having enough time, or being able to do enough, or of not being up to the task, feeling angry, resentful, and then experiencing guilt over these feelings, can all take their toll very quickly.
Caregiver burnout benefits no one. People being tended to by a stressed caregiver are more likely to be neglected, abused, or in the case of the elderly, prematurely placed in an institution in order to ‘solve’ the problem, though often it presents other issues for everyone concerned.
The loved one can also end up stressed and depressed themselves as a result of their caregiver’s difficulties.
Therefore, caregivers should periodically assess their own physical and mental health, and seek help when appropriate and available, to care for themselves and avoid caregiver burnout.
FURTHER READING:
Coping with Caregiving: A Beginner’s Guide to Caring for Your Loved Ones Without Suffering from Caregiver Burnout (Health Matters)
