Coping with a Family Member Who Has ADHD

If you have a child or immediate family member with Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), you will soon start to understand how difficult the disorder is on everyone involved.

However, as a family member and perhaps the primary caregiver for a person with ADHD, you need to remain positive in order to help your loved one. Below are a few tips on the best ways that you can cope with a family member who has ADHD.

1. Stay Positive – Most people think about ADHD as a purely negative disorder, since the main symptoms are not being able to focus, and being hyperactive, which can often lead to impulsive, troublesome behavior. However, there are actually many positive aspects associated with the condition.

For instance, those with ADHD may exhibit several of the following attributes as a result of the disorder:

*Sensitivity and empathy for others
*Creativity
*Deeper emotional engagement
*Greater observational skills
*Great imagination
*Deeper perception
*Inventiveness
*Greater curiosity
*Excellent mechanical skills
*Spontaneity
*Passion and enthusiasm
*Great athletic abilities
*Charisma
*Resilience

2. Therapy for the Whole Family
When one of your immediate family members has ADHD and is a child with siblings, it is often beneficial for the entire family to go to therapy together. A therapist will be able to help everyone in the family cope together with the difficulties of ADHD. This will help keep everyone “on the same page” with the disorder and promote a better understanding of the disorder. It can also help everyone be honest about their feelings and keep things in balance, without resentment or ‘why me’ kinds of thinking.

Everyone can help the person with ADHD, but they should not be expected to do so, particularly if they are younger and feel like they are struggling themselves. You should also never put your children in the position of ‘mother’s little helper’ and give anyone false responsibility for the child with ADHD. There should be one main caregiver who coordinates care and passes along the messages to others on the team, but they should never rely on anyone under the age of 18 to be in a primary caregiver role for a child with ADHD (including babysitters).

3. Get Into a Routine
One thing those with ADHD need are consistent, regular routines. When things are predictable, the person with ADHD is more at ease because s/he knows exactly what is going to happen and when it’s going to happen. This will also be the best way to avoid any arguments about what the child or family member will be doing, and fewer ‘trigger events’ that might cause their hyperactivity or issues with impulse control to kick in.

4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
The most helpful attitude to take will be to pick your battles. If you have a child with ADHD, there will be some behavioral issues that will occur as a result of the disorder which would not usually occur, or occur as frequently, in a child that did not have ADHD. Try to overlook these when they aren’t too severe because these are symptoms and not actual character traits. This include fidgeting, chattering and being restless. Instead, try to incorporate these actions into their daily routine, through plenty of exercise and breaks between activities to help them work off steam.,

5. Don’t Give In to Guilt
ADHD is not something that you caused your child or loved one to have. Therefore, don’t give in to “guilt trips” when they try to surface. There isn’t any concrete evidence pointing to any one specific cause of ADHD, so give yourself a pass and move on. Simply do the best you can and understand that it is only normal from time to time to wish things could be different. Then focus on the positive, and move on.

In the next part, learn 5 more useful tips.