There are over 32 million people in the United States that have assumed the role of caregiver for loved ones of all ages who are confronted with a health challenge of some kind.
In some cases, the health challenge might result from birth, illness or accident. In other cases, it might be part of the process of growing old, but is no less resented for all that it is part of the natural process of aging.
Any health challenge which prevents a person from doing the things they were accustomed to doing, or holds them back from being like other people, can be a cause of real distress and stress. Here are some suggestions for helping a loved one cope if they are suddenly presented with an unexpected heath issue or disability.
1. Let them express their feelings.
Let your loved one know it is okay to cry, shout, throw tantrums, get angry, and hate the world. Do not take it personally. Through sharing their feelings, they can relieve them. But they have to be willing to admit to them in the first place in order to be able to deal with them in a productive way.
2. Don’t suffocate them with concern.
It is only natural to want to try to make things easier for our loved one but in some senses it can make it harder on them. They might be embarrassed, resent being a ‘burden’ or seen as ‘less than’ they used to be, and so on. Sometimes, they do not want people hovering all over the place. They will just want to be left alone and will need some rest and time to heal. Give your health-challenged loved one time with their own thoughts. Just remind them that you are there if they need you, and leave it at that.
3. Don’t treat them as disabled or molly-coddle them.
Understand that they are suffering, but expect them to do the best that they can. Regardless of whether the situation is long term or short term, take things one day at a time and start from where they are, and what they can do, rather than what they wish they could do.
4. Be an advocate. Help them to get what they want and need, if they ask for it. It they are willing to use a wheelchair or walker, great. Help them to get one. If they do not want to use one, that is fine too.
5. Take of yourself as the caregiver. Don’t stay in the house on call all the time. Do the things you love, within reason, and stay in touch with your support network. If you are in a happy and positive state of mind, this can help your home environment be less pressured and stressful.
FURTHER READING
