How to Make Marriage Work | Eternal Spiral Books

When you first fell in love with your spouse, you thought you had found the person you would be with for the rest of your life. Then, as life threw you some curve balls, you both started to drift apart. You are at a loss to figure out how it happened, and what you can do about it. If things aren’t past the point of no return, you can still make your marriage work. You just have to be willing to put in the effort, and then keep up the good work to keep the marriage strong and committed to success. Here are 7 suggestions on how to make marriage work:

1. Keep the communication open.
Your spouse is your partner-in-crime. There should be nothing that either one of you hides from each other. If you both are keeping information and feelings hidden from each other, this will cause you to drift apart further. Commit to opening up and start sharing everything.

2. Don’t air your dirty laundry.
When you are at a party or event, don’t belittle your spouse. If either of you is upset with the other, agree to take the issue up later when you are both alone. Don’t try to bring friends onto your side by letting them know what your spouse did. It is okay to talk in confidence to a friend about certain issues you are having with your spouse, but even with this, be mindful of what you say.

3. Be appreciative towards each other.
It’s easy to take each other for granted since you are living in the same house. However, think about how good you feel when your spouse thanks you for doing something or saying something. You should do the same. Appreciating even the small items goes a long way.

4. Don’t have kids because you think that will patch your marriage.
Too many people fall into this trap. Kids bring a whole new dimension into the relationship that makes it tougher to resolve issues you are having. Have kids because you both want them, not because you feel it will bridge gaps.

5. All couples need time away from their spouses on occasion.
You should both have a night that you devote to going out with your own friends or simply some other place by yourself. You don’t want to do this too so often that you are away from each other all the time, however.

6. Find a place to go for couples counseling.
Even if your problems aren’t big, this can help catch problems before they turn big. If they are big already, you can use counseling to help save your marriage. There is no shame in going for counseling. Make sure you both agree on the chosen counselor and attend the sessions regularly.

7. Become equal partners in the relationship.
If someone feels that they are pulling more than their own weight, separate jobs that each will be responsible for. Make sure both of you do what is expected. When you make this agreement, the expectations are set in advance which means fewer misunderstandings.